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Guest Contributor: Has Empowerment Ruined Women?

Guest Contributor: Has Empowerment Ruined Women?

We have a guest contributor! I put out the call a week or so ago for guest contributors. I asked that they be real and bring their fucking “A game.” She did! She is kind of kick ass…

Empowerment. That is the word I hear more often than any other when on the subject of the 2019 female. But, does empowerment really mean entitlement?

The narrative in the media is about salary equality and women taking control of, not only their careers, but fucking everything. I cannot really speak to that, but I can speak of entitlement when it comes to our relationships. Because that is what I see. I see people interacting. I see couples on uneven ground. I see relationships that are getting shittier by the day. And I believe that it is rooted in respect, or lack thereof, and this sense of entitlement that I see on the faces of women in my community.

It all really boils down to two words. Power Struggle.

Outside the home I am fierce. I am a leader. People gravitate towards me and willing allow themselves to be led. But inside the home I am a very traditional woman. I believe there is a natural order of things, and somehow we lost our way.

We decided that following our true nature is demeaning.

Look, women want to be put on a pedestal by their man. Is this our right as women? I am going to firmly say no. From my perspective, we have to earn the right to be treasured and adored above all others.

Some even feel just because they have tits they should get that sort of treatment. It’s their right as a woman to be her man’s queen. When in reality that’s just not the case.
Think about it.

Men have to earn our heart.

Earn our love.

Earn our pussy.

Earn our respect.

Earn us, our loyalty.
But what? Since we have the goods that’s all we need to do? Give up that pussy a few times and then just expect to have that pedestal status? Expecting him to always keep us lifted as we give nothing back?
No, we are not entitled to be adored like a queen just because we have the pussy.
If your man continually earns you, takes care of you mind, body, and soul, to the best of his ability, it only makes sense that we earn him back. And consequently, our position on that pedestal.
We do this by putting him on his own pedestal. In our mind. In our hearts. And even in our very souls.

No real man wants to be told he’s on a pedestal and treated like a dainty pussy. We are the soft and dainty one. I’m not saying, in our everyday lives, we can’t be strong & empowered women. But with our man, behind closed doors, we should be his soft place to land.

Because he is our strength.

Back to my point. How do we earn him?

We show him.
We feed him a good meal. Have him come home to calm & decent house. Listen to his thoughts, raise up his dreams and ambitions. Be his support. Most men won’t sit and whine about a hard day or when things get tough. This is where we come in. We see it in him when things are bogging him down. We know it. Don’t lay more nonsense on him. Be there for him & remember men are not like us. They won’t want to talk it out. And that’s ok. Us being there taking care of him is enough for them. If he decides he wants to talk about it? Be an active listener. Yes, active listening is a real thing.

Make real eye contact put down the damn phone ask follow-up questions. Actively listen.
If he’s a man that is worthy of your adoration, he is giving you the same, every time you want to sit down and talk about shoes or your hair he’s giving the same.
Oh! Don’t forget the best thank u.
Fuck him regularly. That’s right fuck him. Give him a blowy on a Tuesday in the laundry room just because. It shows he’s desired. Yes men want to be desired, to know they’re wanted too. They may act like they don’t, but they do, just like us.
Off track again. 🤦‍♀️
But
Yes i said it;  fuck your man. Sex is not something to hold over and keep from him. Give with enthusiasm. It’s the best way to show a man appreciation.
Sure some days u might be tired “I’ve had a long day.” Guess what he has too and we still want him coming in the door ready to help with home life.
Why do we get what we want and not him? Besides fucking is fun!! It feels good. Let’s stop this bullshit narrative that committed women don’t like to fuck. Ok. Good.
Moving on
If we were honest with ourselves at our base levels we are animals. Highly evolved, top of the food chain, but we are animals.
Certain things are true
Men hunt, gather, build, and protect.
Women give and nurture.
Men are strong. Men are doers and fixers. It’s in their DNA. So when he’s that strong support you need, or he fixes your flat tire, don’t just treat it as something to be expected. Nurture the good that was done. Thank him and show appreciation for all the little things he gives.

When you show appreciation for the things that he’s doing for you, you’re no longer like most women who just think they should be treated that way because they’re female. Now you became a woman of value. This woman values me, what I offer, in turn he’ll value you.
You’re earning your position as queen.
Earn it by honoring him. Show him he is your world. Making him a priority above all things.
I know, I know they say don’t put anyone above you as to not lose yourself. That it damages self worth. That I can understand, but when you meet that right man, the one who is worthy,
setting yourself to the side and making him number one is a beautiful thing. It’s a very freeing experience to hand yourself over and know you’re protected, cared for, and safe. In return, he will make you his priority. He will not allow you to lose your sense of self. He will celebrate your individuality and foster it help you grow. Never stifle or put you down. He will adore you in the ways you need. You will be number one. All those little needs and worries we have, are met and those pesky self doubt/worries go away.
Women are right to be cautious, are right to be wary. About giving so fully like this. We should never give ourselves to just anyone.
Not every man deserves that level of _______.
Take your time, be picky, and don’t settle.
My Experience and What I Have

I’ve always known I wanted to be someone’s treasure. I never felt entitled to that sort of treatment, just knew what I give. And like anyone, I wanted the same in return.
When I met my husband, it was at a weird time in my life. I was coming from a place where I gave the only way I knew how...in my entirety. I gave myself to a person who felt entitled. He felt he should be treated in ways that raised him up for merely existing.

I opened myself up and gave all the things I thought a woman should. And learned rather quickly this motherfucker has zero interest in being my support. It was me who had to have all the answers to all the things.

No. It doesn’t work that way.

I’m the woman. In my life, outside of relationships, I’m strong. I’m a leader. I’m confident. In my personal life all I ever wanted was to be what I know in my gut a woman’s DNA is, soft, sweet, and kind.

I was giving and not getting a fucking thing in return. Being the support, the pillar. But when I needed that?!? Was told “oh you’re strong you’ve got this.”

Oh go fuck yourself!! (I’m getting pissed just talking about it)

So to say I was wary is an extreme understatement. My husband would probably laugh and say I was nothing but work. But he was there every single day, without fail. As our relationship grew, I’d get scared. Afraid of allowing my true nature out for another to use against me. I was terrified and unwilling to get taken advantage of. Each time I’d work up courage and ask for further explanation, he took it in, and we hashed it out. I didn’t fully realize it then but he was earning me. And was being the strength I always needed. I didn’t even need to ask.

Ladies, the moral of this narrative is to choose wisely, never settle, and give in your entirety. Give all of yourself to the man who deserves you. And if you assess and find that he does not deserve your soul, then find the one who does. Because the outcome of fully giving to the right man is a thing of beauty. You’re his queen, his treasure above all others.

I hope Arioch invites me back. I have a whole lot more to say on this subject…


Dande

The New Traditional Wife

I can speak for everyone reading this, You’re welcome anytime!!


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